Thru' the years...To be Continued

Oh how my little girl has grown...

Hanging Out on the Plateau

Its been 6 months since I had this new installation in my body, and I was scheduled for the check to look for new revelation on the status of my well-being.

I have been feeling pretty well, not fabulous, but reasonably well. And so, with much enthusiasim, I went to receive the results from my heart doc a couple of days back. 

Have you had one of those days as a student when you were super confident that you will aced your exams, and then to receive one of those blah results. Well, its like deja vu for me.  It happened to me before, and it happened again, but this time round as a patient receiving my examination results more crucial than the PSLE, "Ö"and A Levels.  Its the results that will determine not only my future, but the possibility of ever having a future.

I was kind of expecting better than great kind of results, and then lo and behold, the results was really just .... (drum roll, please) blah!  Thats right, there was no improvement in the EF reading,  It was kind of a crushing moment, as i was hoping that the ICD would have improve my heart function.  Alas, the results were the same as that as I had before I had the surgery in January 2012. Yup, no change in EF reading...still at 29%.  Well, I am hoping to hang around on the plateau even if there is no upward climb. 

I am not sure whats my prognosis like. The heart doc will not give me a number.  Just as well, i guess. There's not much information I could googled about my condition.  If you know of any blog or medication publication that will provide an insight, let me know :)

On a happier note, I am officially a 9 year old cancer survivor!! yeah!!

Thank God!

 

I found this Poster Print on Pinterest.  How apt, I thought. I will be turning a year older pretty soon!! Hey, glad to be still around!  Didn't think I would still be around back then.  Thank God!

Maid in Singapore

After many many years of being without a helper at home, we are finally caving in, and have now joined the many many families in Singapore with live-in help.  Yes, we are now awaiting the arrival of our newly hired helper who will be living under the same roof as us with effect from the month of May.

It is with much anxiety and anticipation that we are looking forward to the helper's arrival.  The last time we had a helper was way back in 2003, when i was going thru'chemotheraphy, and i figured I needed help with the chores and watching my then 2 year old.  Alas, it was more heartache than help i had during the short duration of 2 months she was with us.  And so, the helper packed up and went home, and I had managed to live without a helper since then.

I guess the situation is a little different now.  I do have to admit that I am not as energetic as I was 9 years back.  I am unable to do any chores for a prolonged period of time. I would scrubed one bathroom, and it would seem like i had just ran a marathon. Ironing tires me up, so I am just limiting to ironing Nic's uniform and a couple of Mike's work shirts.  I could still live in crumpled tees. Not to mention changing the bedsheets. I just found up from this article in Yahoo that the sheets have to be changed on a weekly basis. Yikes!! Not saying how long I have been lounging on mine.

And so we are praying fervantly that she will be a help to us, that she will be able to accommodate us as much as we can accommodate her.

Till my next post. Peace

Running on Batteries

And so the surgery went without a hitch, other than a brief couple of minutes when i woke up in the middle of surgery and hearing the surgeons talking and the beeping of machines that i am wired to. Well, that freaked me out quite a bit, and i burst into tears! Pretty embaressing, thinking about it now, but i was promptly knocked out again with more Propofol because of my distress.

Anyway, since i have been fitted with the device, life seems to be a little better, a little rosier. I could drink a bit more water without gagging and feeling nasaues, I could walk a little bit more before needing to sit down and rest, i could do a bit more packing and unpacking without breaking out into a major sweating. Essentially, I am feeling less of an 80 year old. Maybe a 70 year old. There are still limitations. I still break out into major sweating and become breathless when i am low on sugar. I still cannot carry a conversation while walking uphill. I turn blue, apparently. Its definitely not Energizer batteries that i am fitted with. I don't feel like a bunny at all!

Anyway, the true verdict will come in April when i will go for another ECG to determine if I am responding to the device.

And so fingers crossed, hope and pray that this will work. I don't wish to join the queue for the broken-hearted waiting and praying for a healthy heart in a broken body to come their way.

Did i mention that i am getting new titanium implants?

Ok, so i didn't get the implants in October 2011. By some strange twist of events, the operation was cancelled, and because my holiday schedule clashes with the surgeon's busy year end calendar, the surgery was postponed to.....gasp! 05 Jan 2012!! Glad i didn't suffer a "sudden cardiac death" while waiting...

It was nerve racking, initially. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go ahead with the crazy holiday plans that we made months ago before i was aware of my situation. We were heading to Taiwan for 10 days in November and Hong kong for 4 days in December, and there were two staycations in between. I would suffer major losses if i were to cancel these trips. Too late to cancel. I wasn't too sure if i wanted to be caught in a situation either while in a foreign land. With the issue of breathlessness, i wasn't too sure if it will be safe to fly. What happens if i collapse? Will i be saved in time? So many questions, so many fears!!

With the doctor's name card, medication, a printout of my medical history in my bag, and faith in God, we decided to packed our bags and go ahead with our vacation plans.

I guess the mind is the strangest of all things. And of course, the power of prayers. I made it through these trips and back, and feeling better than ever. Perhaps its the worry free days of reckless shopping, dining, sight seeing and great company...Perhaps I am away from the stress of our daily routine, the renovation problems ... Or perhaps, its just not my time yet.

I am glad we went ahead with the plans despite the risk, and i could gladly say that the days spent on vacation will be cherished memories.

And so, tomorrow will marked another new chapter in my life...living with a defillabrator with the hope of buying some more time. Hope its a worthwhile purchase!

Happy New Year Everyone!! Hope it has been a good start to 2012. It has been for me. I am still feeling the adrenaline rush :)