Rest Well, My Chemo Buddy

I met Angie at the Cancer Centre sometime back in early 2008. I just had my first round of Zometa and Zoladex regime, and we were introduced by the nurse when Angie wanted to find out more about the regime i was on. We hit it off pretty quickly, exchanged phone numbers and had been in touch since. We often scheduled our chemo sessions about the same time so that we could do lunch after our sessions.

Angie was diagnosed with advanced breast and bone cancer in February 2006. She went through the standard treatment regime of chemotheraphy and radiation. She was starting out on her Zometa infusion when I first met her. Her health condition took a turn for the worse in the last quarter of 2008. The cancer had spread quickly to her liver and lungs, and yet she fought on courageously. During one of our last conversations in January, she told me that she has resigned herself to fate, and that she probably may not be able to see Christmas this year.

Today, I lost another dear friend to the deadly and unpredictable disease. She leaves behing 3 lovely children aged 4 to 11 years old. To those who do not know her, Angie will be a sad statistic, a number to be added and tabulated into graphs and tables, an unknown individual who was unfortuante enough to have caught the disease. To those who know her, she was a bright and beautiful lady with a generous heart and a warm personality.

Angie, you are going be missed.
Rest well in the arms of Jesus

Preparedness

We finally settled with a lawyer to handle Papa's estate. Papa passed without leaving a will. He had assumed that whatever assets he had will be automatically transferred to the next of kin, namely my mum and myself. He refused to talk about stuff like these, as he felt that its taboo to talk about death when "all is well". We left it as that, as we didn't want to prode further about such matters.

On hindsight, if he had prepared a will, which would cost $150 - $400, we probably may not need to spend $2500 in legal fees to settle the matter. The lawyer has advised us that with disbursements, and other miscellaneous charges, the final bill will be in the range of around $3500. Not to mention that the entire process will take 6-8 months.

Having to go through this, I saw the importance of getting the will done. In fact, i have been "thinking" of getting it done for the longest time, but the procrasinator in me got the better of me. Mike and myself have given it some thought, and we will be getting it done soon. We are definitely concern about who gets our money, assets, hamsters, etc when we are gone, but what we are concerned with is who is going to care for Nic in the event of our untimely exit. Lots of thoughts went into this decision, but we are pretty sure THEY will make great subsitute parents.

On the note of preparedness, Nic will be sitting for her first exams in the second week of May. I am beginning to realise that i am nagging a lot these days, especially as the exam week grew closer. I am not expecting her to be topping the class...mediocre is ok with me...but please don't sink to the bottom of the lot....sigh...

Funeral - English

This advertisement by the MCYS has been airing on local TV recently. Its an ad about a woman presenting an eulogy of her husband in a funeral setting. Its funny, moving, and strike a raw nerve with my dad's recent passing.

Mum talks fondly of Papa often, the good times they share, the holidays they went together. She talks about his bad habits, his idiosyncracies, but I guess these doesn't matter anymore.

She still misses him...I do too

The Dust has Settled ... Somewhat

Its been slightly more than a week since Papa passed. We are picking up the pieces where we left off. There seems lots of stuff settle, especially since Papa did not leave a will. Right now, we are also packing the house. Perhaps we will be moving to Mum's place eventually. Not now, but eventually.

On the 7th day of Papa's passing, a large beautiful brown moth came and settled itself in the kitchen. While as Christians, we believe that Papa is safe in God's embrace, there's hearsay that moths are loved ones, who have passed on, coming to visit. I would like to think that Papa has found his way home...

Papas's Wake (29 Mar-31 Mar) & Funeral (01 Apr)

Planning Papa's wake was like planning a big party. It was a celebration of his life, so we felt he that he should deserve the somewhat the best. Papa had left instructions that he would want to have his wake at the Singapore Casket, and so it shall be. It helped that the staff at the Singapore Casket were helpful, knowledgable and ever so obliging.

The photo that was supposed to be used was taken while Papa was on a cruise holiday. It was one of Mum's favourite photo as it showed him smiling and in better times and health. The glossy photo however got "pasted" onto the glass covering. Not sure how they guys did it, but they managed to reproduce the photo that we so loved into a larger picture.

It was a surreal experience, planning his wardrobe, choosing the coffin and the flowers, the buffet menu for the guests who came for the wake and the hymms for Papa's wake and funeral service. Papa wore the mandarin collared suit he wore for my wedding, looking really distinguished. With him in his coffin were his a couple of his favourite Hawaiian shirts, his walking stick and his harmonica to accompany him in his final journey Home.

Many people turned up for the wake, among whom were our old neighbours when we were living in Sims Drive more than 20 years ago. They remembered Papa as a jovial guy with many stories and jokes to tell. The nurses from NKF Teck Whye, who had nursed Papa 3 times a week for the last 6 years also came to pay their last respect. There were hardly a dry eye as one of the nurses Glory told of how grateful she is to Papa for giving her the confidence she has as a nurse now.

When Glory first started out as a young nurse, it was Papa who told her that if she was able to needle him, she would be able to needle any other patient. I would have scrambled for safety if I am to receive any needling from any young inexperienced nurses! While going thru' dialysis treatment, Papa often asked about Glory's father, who is presently in a comatose state due to illness. He was such a sweet fellow...

Thanks Felicia & Jef, the 2 wreaths were really beautiful.

On the day of the funeral, we arranged for the hearse to make a short detour back to Papa's home in Choa Chu Kang on route to the Mandai Crematorium. I hope Papa managed to find his way home.

At the Mandai crematorium, a short service was held with eulogy from myself and one of Papa's sister. Despite my anxiety about not being able to compose myself, I guess I did myself proud by not stammering or breaking into tears. Afterwhich, Papa was cremated at 1145 hrs.

Papa's final resting place is at the Church of St Francis Assissi at Boon Lay.

May he rest in peace.