Last Minute Scraming The weekend before Christmas!

Mike and I decided that we deserve a little pampering today. Or rather, I needed to go for my long overdue facial appointment, before the blackheads on my nose accumulates into little mole-hill, and frown lines turn to train tracks. We made an appointment at House at Dempsey, thinking that we could let Nic play at Go Go Bambini. Nope, the child needs to be accompanied with an adult. So how? Mike got to do his massage in quiet bliss, while I had my facial done with Nic in the room with me.

And as I laid on the couch while i have lotions and potions lovingly massaged into my face, Nic was up to lots of mischief, poking my face, tickling my feet, sponging my arm and feet with wet cotton balls. I guess its the best time for her to "get back" at me. I couldn't protest or yell at her, and more importantly, I couldn't smack her. So there I was, lying there...while she carried on with her mischief.

On days like these, I wish I could have some time out.

With Christmas just round the corner, we decided to have some shopping done at Vivo City right after our pampering session. I have not gotten her Christmas present for Nic, simply because having her shadowing me on every shopping trips, where's the element of surprise?

Anyway, we did get a bit of Christmas shopping done today...for Nic. Nic decided to get some presents for Grandpa, Grandma, Daddy and Mummy. I helped her a little with the "budgeting" and gift selection. While i suggested getting chocolates for everyone (Can't go wrong with chocolates...everyone loves chocolates, no?), she insisted on getting something that can be "used". I am not spoiling her surprise for the 3 of them. Think she is gonna get Daddy to help her buy my pressie. I just thought she is just so sweet and thoughtful. Awwww

3 Strikes and We Got Lucky

Went for the Zometa jab today. It has been pretty routine, a non-event. Except that today, my veins went into hiding, and the nurses seem to be having a pretty time looking for one. So I had 2 pricks on my hand, and the 3rd lucky strike on my arm.

Sigh...feel like a pin-cushion today

Oh What a Night!

I just went thru almost 24 hours without sleep, save for a couple of cat naps.

I was up at around 3 am surfing the web, when Mum called. She said that Dad was breathless, and gasping for air, and needs to go to the hospital asap. I called for the ambulance, while Mike, Nic and myself made our way to the hospital Emergency Room.

At the hospital, the doctors and nurses attended to my Dad while we waited around, trying to stay awake. Our heart sank when the Doc told us that Dad is seriously ill, and need to be intubated to help with his breathing. They will also need to ward him in ICU to observe him, and put him thru' his dialysis treatment. The Doc also said that his condition isn't very good, and there may be a chance that his condition may take a turn for the worse, and we are to be prepared.

Mum broke down at this point, lamenting about how she should have spend more time with him, should have talk to him more...At this point in time, I have my regrets as well. I do find it a bore listening him to him ramble about stories of days gone by. Despite his ramblings, I still do love him dearly. It was a really sad to see him all hooked up to the machines, and seeing him so uncomfortable with the tube down his throat. It was such a sorry sight, and i just felt so helpless seeing him lying there.

The nurses usher us to the Family Lounge where we could rest, and for the next 8 hours, we waited...

At around 5 plus in the morning, a family of 22 adults and 4 children (not above the age of 6) descended upon the Family Lounge like nesting crows to an angsana tree! In the small tiny room next to the ICU, there was chattering, and giggling, it is hard to imagine that they are anxiously awaiting the news of their loved one who is warded in the ICU. It felt more like a Hari Raya gathering. For a person who hasn't slept a wink, i was pissed with the noise, and the inappropriate festivity in the room. Argh..

Dad was hooked up on the dialysis machine at around 7 am. As the machine works its magic, Dad regains his ability to breathe on his own again. He look and felt better, and have been transferred to the general ward this afternoon. It seems like a close shave for my Dad...i guess God is still doing up my Dad's room :)

"In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."

Empty Nest Symdrome

Its a long overdue process, i know.
But the inevitable has happen.

Tonight Nic decides that she does not want to sleep with Daddy and Mummy anymore. She has decided that she wants her own space and have moved out from our bedroom. Yes, we helped her with the shifting, and asked her over and over again if she wants to reconsider her decision. But she was determined that there is no turning back on her decision.

We have been trying to get Nic to sleep n her own room since she was 4. We did up her room nicely, and involved her in many ways in doing up her bedroom. Each time, just before bedtime, we would tuck her in, read her a story, wait till she falls asleep before quietly sneaking out of the bedroom. However, time and time again, she would open her eyes as we made our quiet exit. And the next thing you know, she is back in our room again, sleeping on the mattress beside our bed. We have resigned ourselves to having her as our bedroom companion. Its not too bad afterall. We love having her company, and it helps us save electricity as well since we would be utilising one aircon unit.

Anyway, not too sure what came over her tonight. It is almost out of the blue, as we have not brought up the subject in a long time. Despite our little success, its kind of bittersweet, as it seems our little darling is a baby no more....

My baby will be turning 7 in 10 days time...She is growing up so quickly...Where have all the time been, i wonder...Nonetheless, I am glad I am around to savour the moment

Sixty Uses of Salt

This is one of those forwarded emails that i got from a friend. Thought it is a very useful information so i would like to post it here to share.

“Although you may not realize it, simple table salt has a great number of uses other than simply seasoning your food.

The following list will give you sixty uses of salt, many of which you probably didn’t realize :-

1. If you drop a whole egg on the floor, pour salt all over the egg, let it sit for awhile, then use dustpan, the egg will come right up, without all that mess. Contributed by Ms. Jerry McGinnis.
2. Soak stained hankies in salt water before washing.
3. Sprinkle salt on your shelves to keep ants away.
4. Soak fish in salt water before decaling; the scales will come off easier.
5. Put a few grains of rice in your saltshaker for easier pouring.
6. Add salt to green salads to prevent wilting.
7. Test the freshness of eggs in a cup of salt water; fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.
8. Add a little salt to your boiling water when cooking eggs; a cracked egg will stay in its shell this way.
9. A tiny pinch of salt with egg whites makes them beat up fluffier.
10. Soak wrinkled apples in a mildly salted water solution to perk them up.
11. Rub salt on your pancake griddle and your flapjacks won’t stick.
12. Soak toothbrushes in salt water before you first use them; they will last longer.
13. Use salt to clean your discolored coffee pot.
14. Mix salt with turpentine to whiten you bathtub and toilet bowl.
15. Soak your nuts in salt brine overnight and they will crack out of their shells whole. Just tap the end of the shell with a hammer to break it open easily.
16. Boil clothes pins in salt water before using them and they will last longer.
17. Clean brass, copper and pewter with paste made of salt and vinegar, thickened with flour
18. Add a little salt to the water your cut flowers will stand in for a longer life.
19. Pour a mound of salt on an ink spot on your carpet; let the salt soak up the stain.
20. Clean your iron by rubbing some salt on the damp cloth on the ironing surface.
21. Adding a little salt to the water when cooking foods in a double boiler will make the food cook faster.
22. Use a mixture of salt and lemon juice to clean piano keys.
23. To fill plaster holes in your walls, use equal parts of salt and starch, with just enough water to make stiff putty.
24. Rinse a sore eye with a little salt water.
25. Mildly salted water makes an effective mouthwash. Use it hot for a sore throat gargle.
26. Dry salt sprinkled on your toothbrush makes a good tooth polisher.
27. Use salt for killing weeds in your lawn.
28. Eliminate excess suds with a sprinkle of salt.
29. A dash of salt in warm milk makes a more relaxing beverage.
30. Before using new glasses, soak them in warm salty water for a while.
31. A dash of salt enhances the taste of tea.
32. Salt improves the taste of cooking apples.
33. Soak your clothesline in salt water to prevent your clothes from freezing to the line; likewise, use salt in your final rinse to prevent the clothes from freezing.
34. Rub any wicker furniture you may have with salt water to prevent yellowing.
35. Freshen sponges by soaking them in salt water.
36. Add raw potatoes to stews and soups that are too salty.
37. Soak enamel pans in salt water overnight and boil salt water in them next day to remove burned-on stains.
38. Clean your greens in salt water for easier removal of dirt.
39. Gelatin sets more quickly when a dash of salt is added.
40. Fruits put in mildly salted water after peeling will not discolor.
41. Fabric colors hold fast in salty water wash.
42. Milk stays fresh longer when a little salt is added.
43. Use equal parts of salt and soda for brushing your teeth.
44. Sprinkle salt in your oven before scrubbing clean.
45. Soaked discolored glass in a salt and vinegar solution to remove stains.
46. Clean greasy pans with a paper towel and salt.
47. Salty water boils faster when cooking eggs.
48. Add a pinch of salt to whipping cream to make it whip more quickly.
49. Sprinkle salt in milk-scorched pans to remove odour.
50. A dash of salt improves the taste of coffee.
51. Boil mismatched hose in salty water and they will come out matched.
52. Salt and soda will sweeten the odor of your refrigerator.
53. Cover wine-stained fabric with salt; rinse in cool water later..
54. Remove offensive odours from stove with salt and cinnamon.
55. A pinch of salt improves the flavor of cocoa.
56. To remove grease stains in clothing, mix one part salt to four parts alcohol.
57. Salt and lemon juice removes mildew.
58. Sprinkle salt between sidewalk bricks where you don’t want grass growing.
59. Polish your old kerosene lamp with salt for a brighter look. Remove odors from sink drainpipes with a strong, hot solution of salt water.
60. If a pie bubbles over in your oven, put a handful of salt on top of the spilled juice. The mess won’t smell and will bake into a dry, light crust which will wipe off easily when the oven has cooled.“

Fast Car Ain't Gonna impress Nic

Who would think, a car like this is not gonna impress my little Nic

We had just parked our car at the carpark, and were making our way to the shopping mall, when we pass a beautiful shiny silver car parked in one of the lots. She remarked: " Mummy, Look! This car must be for short people, the car is so small!"

I gasped" did you know how expensive this car is?"
"No, but the car is so small, how can it be expensive?" Hmmm

I guess it will take a couple more years before she truely appreciates and understand the value of a shiny silver porsche.

IZ - Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World

Israel "Iz" Kamakawiwoʻole (May 20, 1959 – June 26, 1997)

I love this version of the song. Listening to it gives me a sense of calm, and a sese of hope that everything will be ok, and things will be well tomorrow.

Due for my routine jab tomorrow. Its amazing how time flies. Days seems to melt into months, and very soon months into years. Another year is drawing to an end pretty soon. With the current economic turmoil, I do hope that the coming year will bring more cheer.

Documentary - In the Face of Death

A blogger whose blog i have been following closely, will be featured in a documentry "In the Face of Death" tonight at 10.30pm on Channel 8 here in singapore. It will be about her battle with cancer.

Do drop by her blog. She is an inspiration to me, and I believe many who follows her blog as well.

Victim of Domestic Violence :(

The poor hammie has died

And I am a little affected by its death. Yes, its a rodent, a mouse, whatever, but I am kind of affected, having to witness how the little hamster slowly whittle away, and breathing its last breath. I saw how the hammie being tired and lethargic at first, refusing food, and preferring to be curled up in a corner. Than i saw it sleeping more and more throughout the day, and not eating at all. And this afternoon, I saw it lying on its side, with heavy laboured breathing. Shortly after, poor hammie died

Is this the process of dying? I shudder to think...

Domestic Violence at Home

Nic had the unfortunate experience of having to witness domestic violence right under our humble roof. Yes, the cutie pie hamsters, one male and one female had a rather violent fight, which ended with one of the hammies having a little wound on the back, and some of its furs on its leg being chomp off. Its quite a pitiful sight. The wounded party has been awfully quiet, and sleeping quite a bit, while the other hammie is nonchalent, and have been rather active going about its regular activities. i am not too sure what to do with them. i have since separated them, one is living in the cage, while the wounded hammie is now recovering in an empty ice-cream tub. Gonna pop by the pet shop tomorrow to see what i can get for the wounded hammie.

Oh, and did I mention that the wounded hammie is the male. And as they say...the female of the species is more deadlier than the male

Our New Family Members

We have gotten 2 new family members...Mike and I are no big fans of keeping pets. Not that we are unaffectionate beings. Just that, on the practical side, its having to clean up after another member of the troop. Nic had wanted so much to have a dog. i was totally against the idea, when i realise that eventually, walking the dog, toilet training, and cleaning up dog poop will eventaully be added to my chore list. So what have we gotten her? We got her not one, but 2 hamsters :)

Thats not too bad, considering I just need to change the water and feed daily, give them sand bath on alternate days and changing their bedding weekly. Anyway, the little hammies are rather cute.... so no complaints.

Under the Weather

I had monthly jab quarterly Zoladex jab on Monday, and am having some of its side effects now. Feeling feverish right now, and my bones are aching so much i just want to nuah in my bed all day. Sigh... And the weather is helping either. Its kind of cloudy and overcast.

On a lighter note, the results for my sugar and chorestrol level turn out good, according to Doc. I decided not to be an ostrich and went for my chorestrol and blood sugar test. Kidney and Liver function is doing ok too. This calls for a little celebration. Gonna be binging soon. haha.

Signing off for now. Going to nuah for the rest of the day till my achy breaky bones are not so achy

Dying to be Heard - by Sharon Robbins

October - The month for pretty pink ribbon pins. Flip through the newspapers, and you can see that there are many events, talks, symposiums organised over the weekends focusing on early detection of breast cancer, treatment options and reconstructive surgeries. While it is an excellent message to bring attention to the members of the public on issues about getting regular mamograms and not to ignore suspicious lumps, what seems to be lacking is the message that you are never too young to get breast cancer. I was diagnosed at age 30. I had met a lady, diagnosed with the disease, right after she graduated from university. You are just never too young to get breast cancer.

Now that the disease has progressed to Stage 4, it does seems to me that we are case studies that will never be discussed in such talks and symposiums. Who wants to hear about how the disease has progressed despite treatments? There's a need to paint a rosy picture that the disease is "curable" if detected in its early stages. Not true, I don't think I will be a good candidate to put on the stage for such talks, i probably scare everyone with the true reality of the disease.

Anyway, I found the message in this article that is just so amazingly true

Dying to Be Heard
by Sharon Robbins

In Memorium

October 10, 2003

During the month of October we are bombarded with the message that early detection of breast cancer equals cure...that anyone surviving five years from diagnosis is, indeed "cured". This year, I have decided to speak out. Like many other women, I believed that when my breast cancer was detected early and I had the most aggressive treatment available, I had done my job and could look forward to the rest of my life.

I believed the early detection message. I was 45 years old. I was even pronounced "cured" by the doctor who was my oncologist at that time.But like so many others...thousands of others every year...I was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer after celebrating that five year anniversary.

After the initial shock, I was certain that I would be dead within eighteen months. That's what every article I could find on the internet said. That was over two years ago. I am one of the lucky ones. Up to this point, my cancer has responded well to treatment. I was even one of the ones who went into remission due to new drugs and therapies. But what about tomorrow? Like thousands of others, I will never be "cured". Because, you see, cancer that has metastasized is not only deadly; it is a very crafty foe. It can mutate and learn how to get around the roadblocks that any given treatment throws in its path. Today it may be in your liver, tomorrow your spine.

Like thousands of others, my only hope of continued survival is to have new drugs developed and new treatments that can stay one step ahead of my cancer. It doesn't have to be a death sentence. We CAN continue to live productive lives, but only if the research is there. When survivors are discussed, no one ever hears about us. They don't want to hear about us. We are the hidden survivors. We are your wives, your mothers, your daughters. We are you. today or tomorrow. We are dying to be heard.

If breast cancer can truly now be considered a chronic illness, why are we still dying at a rate of more than 43,000 every year? It is a deadly disease, and a pretty pink ribbon cannot make it go away. We are in that "success statistic" if we have survived for five years. Some days we don't feel very successful.

We live with breast cancer every day of our uncertain lives until it finally takes us from our families and loved ones. If we are one of the "lucky" ones, that is often after years of debilitating treatment that makes the phrase "quality of life" absolutely ridiculous and has drained our families of any financial security they may have had. If we are fortunate enough to survive until we are eligible for Medicare, we face the knowledge that our prescription drug bill will be astronomical and we will no longer have medical insurance that covers it. If, and when, a new drug is finally approved by the FDA, it can be six months or more before Medicare will pay for it.

How many women die in that six months because they can't afford the treatment? We are dying to be heard.It is time to see more funding and emphasis for both first line and metastatic treatment, not just for awareness. There are now more graves from women who have died since 1991 from breast cancer than the total graves in Arlington Cemetery.

Our doctors tell us that we don't have to worry about breast cancer until we are older. Is it acceptable to die just because we are over 50? I don't think so. I am not ready to die. As I write this, I am awaiting the arrival of my first grandchild. I would like to be here for her. But age isn't even the true story. Tell that story to the young woman who was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer when breastfeeding her first child. Tell that to my stepdaughter who, at 33, and about to have her first child, looks at the future with fear because her grandmother, mother, and now her stepmother have all had stage IV breast cancer..each at a much younger age. I am the only one still here. Tell that to a husband who is now raising his two children alone, getting them ready to start first and third grade. They are dying to be heard.43,000 of us dead every year. That is half the population of Henderson County.each year.every year. Imagine losing every single person in this county, in the space of two years.

That is what breast cancer can do, and will continue to do until we look for answers. Not just slogans, real answers. We are dying for them to be found.Please help speak for us.

Contact your Senators and Congressmen. We need funding for breast cancer research, not just awareness campaigns. We are dying.http://www.cancerlynx.com/grave.html

Calm

As the heavy rain slows to a drizzle, it was time to pick Nic up from her evening class. The gentle breeze was refreshing and cool, and as it brushes against my face, i took in a deep breath, and was just overwhelmed with a sense of calmness and contentment. Nothing much happening in my life, and I am basking in this quiet joy of being able to savour the moment. Thank you God for yet another blessed day.

Should Have Kept My Mouth Shut

A couple of weeks ago, during one of my Zometa sessions at NUH, the nurse administering the jab enquired about my health, and details about my treatment. I have no qualms talking about what i am going thru, the treatments, the relapse, my thoughts and feelings about the whole situation. She than shared with me that her mother is currently going through chemotheraphy for cancer. She looked worried, and mentioned that the tumour markers are moving up. I told her not to worry so much. With medical advances, though there's till no cure, there is still a possibility of living with cancer.

Went by NUH today for my monthy dose, and as I was getting ready to leave after treatment, I ran into her. When i enquired about her mother's health, she turn away briefly, and when she spoke, her voice quivered. Her mum is not doing too well, "but she is still looking great". It was an awkward moment. She than quickly mentioned that she needs to rush off somewhere.

Maybe I shouldn't have mention, and just ask her if she had lunch or something. Sigh...me and my big mouth.

What Geeks do for Leisure...

They Hunt down cute cuddly teddy bears.... Chop off their cut cuddly heads....






And feed it to the Computer...

They plug their little fingers to the Computer as a display of honour and loyalty to their laptop

And they play with their food!

All gadgets available on USB Geek

I am Back!

er...if you haven't notice, I have been back from my trip. It was fabulous holiday, which holiday isn't. Anyway I was suppose to upload the pics, but hubby dearest beat me to it, and upload the whole stash into his laptop, and deleted all the pics in the digital camera. great...

Nothing much to blog about except that i am off to a busy day tomorrow, starting with The Jab at NUH.

Itchy Fingers

Pop by the library and found myself this book by Betz White

And suddenly I am inspired!

I would like to think of myself as the creative sort. I enjoyed cross-stitching, paper toleing, doodling, and perhaps crafting. I said enjoy-ed, because its been ages since i have done anything remotely creative. Perhaps, some day, I will pick up my pen to draw again, or the needle to finish up a cross-stitch project that have been left uncompleted ages ago.

I am a Martha Stewart wanna-be. I love her ideas and creativeness, though wasn't too impressed with her brush with the law sometime back.

Anyway this book is by Betz White. She is just so super duper creative. She uses scraps fabrics like from old wool sweaters, cut them up and makes them into these cute but useless cupcakes. Well, asthetically, the cupcakes look better than the worn out woollen sweater, but seriously, what are you gonna do with these cupcakes??? Oh, by the way, she sells them for USD$36 for a single cupcake! Good money, considering these are scrap fabrics (or maybe not?).

Anyway, theres other projects, like book covers, blankets, cushion covers, etc.

I love what she does but not inspired enough to open up my sewing kit just yet. Anyway, thought I would just borrow the book first. Afterall, it cost USD$22.99 for a signed copy on Etsy.

For cheapskates like me, you can also stake out at her blog for free tutorials and ideas.

Going to bed now...Need to pack my stuff tomorrow morning. Got a flight to catch.

Borrowing the silly tagline from Swensons...I am SO going to Macau!

Child Labour...Not!

Being away for 3 days has left me with a lots of backlogs. Lots of emails to respond to, orders to pack, and mailed out. Its a good kind of busy, and I am glad :)

To cope, I decided to rope in my little helper. She is still in her pajamas, helping me stick address labels and CN 22 stickers on envelopes. Saves me some work, and she is happy she could help. So the next time you receive a package from Little Gems, chances are the stickers are stuck there by my little helper :)

Avillion Port Dickson / Malacca

30 Aug to 02 Sep

Its the school holidays again, and time to de-stress again, or rather, a good excuse to go for a short trip. This time round, we decided we will take a road trip up to Port Dickson, having heard so much rave reviews about the Avillion Port Dickson. The website sure is impressive, go check it out.

Our entourage consist of our family, my parents, and Tien's family. We started the journey in the afternoon, right after Papa completed his dialysis session. Traffic at the 2nd Link Causeway was reasonably good, with not much of a jam. The drive to Port Dickson was uneventful, and we reach the resort safely within 3.5 hours.

We overlooked the fact that we were going during the peak season as our trip falls on Malaysia's National Day. While we didn't need to go around waving the national flag, we had to bear with the overcrowed situation at the resort. For a resort so large, there was 2 restaurants handling the guests dining needs. And I think they probably need to relook at the process flow at the restaurant, as the managed to overlook our orders, twice within two days.

Anyway, will stop my whining now...the place is really quite nice. I have no issues other than the restaurant and also the carpark. It is not within the resort's premises, but located across the road. Though there is a gate, Mike, being his paranoid self is uneasy leaving his car there.


Anyway, Avillion is the sort of resort place that is suitable for families, and people who just want to go there and nuah


















Here's the water chalet we stayed in.



















The rooms are roomy. We had the Twin There's even a day bed, which could sleep another 2
pax!



















The Spa. We loved the decor! The massage was so-so



















The wall decor inside the Couple Room. I like the colour combination, and the pic. i would love to have this in my room.


























Check out the class door. I want this in my room too!

The trip however, didn't end on good note for my friend Tien. On reaching the Causeway, she realised that she had misplaced her Indonesian maid's passport. Despite her frantic search, she simply couldn't find the missing passport. She wasn't even sure whether the passport was handed back to her, when they first entered Malaysia.

The maid had to remain in Malaysia, while Tien's hubby had to do all the legwork to get a new passport for the maid. Not an easy task when you are dealing with Malaysian and Indonesian Authorities. Its been more than 24 hours, and nothing much has been done. The maid continues with her extended stay in Malaysia...

The Breast Cancer Barbie Doll - Coming to a Store Near You

Dolls and Accessories Included

From the new photos you can see that Barbie has gained weight considerably, predominantly in the hips, ass and pouch area. She is sporting a paper "modesty vest" and two drains and a gauze wrap tube-top bandage. She also has her lymphedema wrap, IV drip, port, and has had some blood work done.

Her toe nails and finger nails are unfortunately turning black and there is some concern that she may loose a nail or two. She is leery of going to far away from the toilet, can't remember if she took her pills today and is depressed that she doesn't have ovaries and can't have a baby.

She also found out that Ken cheated on her with a lady cop and that he's a coke head. Her path report is looking OK but the bills are piling up and she is too sick to work, but has to keep working to keep medical insurance. Hot flashes are keeping her up all night and she wonders if she should call her old flame GI Joe when he comes home on leave from Iraq- but will he still want her?

Her sex drive is gone, she's scarred-up and bald and twenty pounds over weight. Her body hurts, she feels as if she is loosing her mind, she doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Yelled at Skipper for asking her if she wanted to go the Town House this weekend for a party, then cried afterwards. Drove pink Corvette to Jack in the Box for drive through burgers and a chocolate shake for dinner. Staying in tonight and watching trashy movies by self. Thank goodness she has a cat and the YSC for support.

The above is extracted from a posting by a fellow breast cancer survivor, Linnea, from the YSC booard. Its funny, its relistic. Only problem is, Barbie shouldn't be smiling so much since she had threw up her entire lunch.

Christina Applegate 100%' Free of Breast Cancer ?????

I wish these celebrities wouldn't make such sweeping statements of their medical condition. Christina Applegate, star of Samantha Who made the statement that she 100% cancer free after receiving treatment. Read the full report here:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=5606034&page=1

Much as I want to believe this to be true, unfortunately, it may not be so. There is no such thing as being cured of cancer. My oncologist has been very frank and candid with me regarding my mortality. She said it to my face at the start of my journey that i will never be cured. The best she could do for me is to put me into remission for as long as possible. The longer I live, the higher chance i have at beating this disease. If you ask me, I think she managed my expectations pretty well. At least I knew from the start, that my life will never be the same ever again, and that I will live with the cloud hanging over my head.

Well, perhaps things are very different in La-La land.

Oh, today is also a dear friend's cancer-versary. She was diagnosed a couple of weeks later than me. She was a Stage 3A, and I was a Stage 2A when diagnosed. And here she is, 5 years later, without a recurrence. I am so happy for her. Cancer is a strange thing, isn't it?

Please say a Prayer

Please keep my friend in your prayers.

The cancer has now spread to her lungs and liver, after missing out on 1 session of treatment. The cancer markers are moving up very quickly. She is adamant about going for a 9 days trip to Moscow, against her doctor's orders. She felt that this could quite possibly be her last vacation abroad. Please pray that she will have a safe trip, and return home safely.

Lifestyle of One High Maintainence Gal

Just back from my monthly maintainence program. And i am feeling rejuvenated and sort of energized. i am back-ache free for the moment. If you ask, I probably could bent and touch my toes. Haha. I haven't seen my toes in that angle in a long long time if you ask me.

Well, I would like to say that my monthly maintenance program revolves round facial, spa, massage, slimming program, and an occassional face lift or botox. These are luxuries that I
will love to indulge in. In actual fact, my monthly maintenance program involves a trip to the hospital, and an infusion of Zometa through my veins. Its good stuff, if you ask me.

Bone metastases wear away portions of bone‚ leaving small holes called osteolytic bone lesions, leaving the bones weak and fragile. The drug essentially fights these abnormal cells, and restores the normal process of bone remodelling, and help protects the bones. My interpretation: it fills up the holes in my bones, and fights away the bad guys.

And they even have a Buy 2 dose, get one dose free promotion, I kid you not. Ask your oncologist. He / She will provide you with more details on the offer.

Anyway, my hubby joked that that I am evolving into one very high maintenance gal.

Other than the monthly program, I am on drugs that cost a subsidised priceof $10 a pop. Not complaining cos' i know of fellow survivors on more expensive drugs. And I need to do quarterly scans. These scans are costly ($$$) and can cause large amount of stress built-up and pent-up emotions. And after each scan, we celebrate the result with nice dinners ($$$). And during school holidays, we take short trips overseas ($$$), to destress ourselves from the cumulative amount of stress.

Well, at least i am not filling our cupboards with bags and shoes :)

Due for My Monthly Upkeep

Somewhere around the 3rd of each month, the aches and pain on my back i normally have starts to get worse. Thats when i know that I am due for monthly maintainenece - I need my monthly dose of Zometa to ease the pain, and hopefully fill the holes in my bones eventually.

Woke up this morning with a really painful lower back. Feel like an old lady right now. Thats when i realise that my next trip to the Hospital will be on the 18 Aug, coming Monday. Hopefully my achy breaky bones will feel better.

Grrrrrrr...Feeling grouchy now

I am HeartBroken

My friend is back from her trip. She has made up her mind not to proceed with any more treatment. I am heartbroken.

Happy Birthday Papa!

Papa will be turning 65 on the 12th August. As usual, we brought him to East Coast Seafood Centre, for his favourite Chilli and Pepper crabs on National Day, just so we can catch a glimpse of the flypass, and basked in the festivity of Nation's birthday.

Papa was diagnosed with end stage kidney failure in 2003, a couple of months before my own cancer diagnosis. He has been on dialysis three times a week since. As they say bad thing happen in threes. My grandpa passed away at the start of the year in 2003 to kickstart the string of bad luck that year.

Papa was a huge man, standing at a towering 1.8m in height. He never fail to give me a sense of security when i stand beside him. He loved his food, and has a fantastic appetitie, and it shows with his girth. That was in 2003 when he first started dialysis. He goes for dialysis on his own 3 times a week, and bible study classes once a week by the public bus. He enjoys his independence, and relish in it.

Today, 5 years on, he is hunched over. He walks with a walking stick, and has difficulty getting up from his sitting position. He suffers extreme back pain walking short distances, despite taking painkillers. His appetite has shrank, though he still enjoy his crabs. And poor Mum has to accompany him on his trips to the dialysis centre.

He is unable to travel long distance, as he cannot afford to miss his treatment. Receiving treatment overseas while on holiday is a viable option, abeit an expensive one. A short 4D3N trip to Melborne 3 years back, ended with a trip to the hospital, upon arrival to Singapore as Papa became breathless during the flight back, causing some panic among the stewards an stewardess on board the SQ flight.

He was a stark contrast to the man we knew 5 years ago. It seems that 5 years of dialysis treatment has taken a toll on his health.

Between the 2 of us, I guess I have the better end of the deal. I do not need to suffer giant needle pricks and the inconvenience of getting treatment 3 times a week. I still get to travel, i get pricked only once a month, and anxiety attacks only when I need to go for my quarterly scans. As they say, you will only know how blessed you truely are when you are aware of the misfortunes of others. I am sadden by his condition, and the little I could do for him.

Here's wishing him health, and happiness, and lots and lots of love from your daughter.

I will be holed up at home these few days. I had these viral warts, skin tags on my neck which were removed by laser yesterday. I splattered like 2 tubes of emla to numb the entire area. My treshold for pain seems to have diminished as time passes. Anyway, it worked, and the doc was "trigger-happy" as she went around zapping all the buggers on my neck. Didn't realise i had that many, until I saw myself in the mirror. I look like I got some major skin problem on my neck.

The entire area feel raw, and was painful when the anaesthesia wore off. Hopefully, the skin recover nicely. Not that anyone is gonna notice my neck, but what the heck!

Anyway, not gonna be posting gross pics of my neck. Took a couple of shots of Nic yesterday.
Sigh....Look how she has grown...

Travelling Without Nic

Over the weekend, Mike, myself, good friend Tien and hubby decided to make trip to the Travel Fair. The main objective of this trip was to scot for some good deals for travel packages during the short September school break. We had planned to bring the kiddies to Langkawi, Tioman or Redang, or some interesting beach resort, that is not too far from Singapore, and not too expensive. We went away not finding any bargains for the September break, but went away with tickets for 4 to Macau for ourselves.

We will be staying 3 nights at the luxurious Venetian Hotel in Macau. I am so excited. Trip is scheduled for the 08 Sep, when the new school term starts. It will be the first time we are not travelling with Nic. Not sure how she will take to staying at Grandma's for a couple of days. We have not told her about that yet. I would love to have her with us. We have always travelled as a family, but this time round, with her in formal school, its a little tricky.

Anyway, we will probably do a road trip to Malaysia or something during the September break.

RIP: Dr Randy Pausch 1960 - 2008

Sometime back, I blogged about Dr Randy Pausch, who gave an inspirational lecture on following your dreams, dealing with the ones that don't come true and having fun along the way. His lecture on Youtube was downloaded by 10 million people around the world. I am one of whom who had "sat through" his lecture, and was tickled by his sense of humour, and his insights. He passed away on the 25th July 2008 morning of complications from pancreatic cancer.

You may read more of his enduring legacy.

Rest in Peace. You are an inspiration

Losing vs Giving Up on a Good Fight

A chemo-buddy sms-ed me this morning to tell me that she has decided to give up her fight. She has decided to stop all treatment, and medication. Because she discovered her husband had been cheating on her all these while.

She, like me is a stage 4 breast cancer survivor with mets to the bones. We knew each other late last year, when we were introduced to each other by the nurses at the Cancer Centre. We hit it off immediately, perhaps because we are in the same boat, we have the same stats, on the same drugs, same predicament. We are young, and we have kid(s).

I am not sure why, but when she told me her decision, I was just filled with so so much sadness, and than rage. Why?! Is it right to give up all treatment just like that, and see your body slowly waste away, when many others are struggling to live for just one more day? Is it right to leave your kids much earlier than expected, when many others couldn't are struggling to live just one more day to witness another of their baby's milestone. It is different when you lose the fight. You have no choice when you lose the fight. But to give it up...Bad!

I am praying very hard, and hoping that she will change her mind. Clinche as it may sound, do it for the sake of the kids. Yes, ultimately, they will be without her. So why not do all you can while you can to live a little longer, to create more memories which they can keep in their hearts for the many years that they will live without having her around.

Sigh....

Eyes of the Beholder

Yes, its official, my little angel face has just become a statistic in the worsening problem of children afflicted with myopia in Singapore. We received a letter from the Health Promotion Board to bring her in for an eye test. We didn't think much of it, as she has not exhibit any problems with her vision.

Anyway, Mike is extremely upset about it, and erm...in denial now that her Precious is in need of spectacles. He kept asking Nic if she recognises all the letters in the alphabet. I guess we would probably be a wee bit comforted if her poor eyesight was a result if reading too much books. Unfortunately, its likely due to watching too much TV and computer games.

Well, at this point in time, other than saving for her college funds, we would probably have to start saving up for Lasik treatment before she evolves into Ugly Betty

Day of Reckoning II

Its amazing how a 15 minute conversation with my oncologist can relieved all the stress for the entire week. My Oncologist is the sweetest lady. She knew I was early for my appointment, and called me in before it was really my turn. Guess she knew i was anxious to find out....


The results: everything stable, no new spots on the bones ..phew!! Yup, not even the "spot" on the foot that the radiogragher saw. And suddenly the pain on my foot disappeared as well. hehehe


Mike and me celebrated by catching a movie. We caught The Dark Knight. It was a good show. I enjoyed the late Heath Ledgers portrayal as the Joker. He is bad to the core, and so sinister. And I thought christian bale is so cute. sigh.........

Back to some normalcy...at least till the next scan

Day of Reckoning

Seeing the Doc in a couple of hours time. Mike is coming along with me, though i thought it may not be really necessary. Afterwhich, will be getting my monthly dose of Zometa.

My spirits are rather low at this point in time. I have this feeling that there may be a new spot at the heel of my left foot. Strange that i didn't notice it until the Radiographer pointed out the spot during the scan last week. My back is also feeling rather achy. Hopefully, its because of the medication wearing off after a month, and not so much because of new spots. Think my spine is beginning to look like this....

On another note, there is a very kind soul out there who has been sms-ing me on a rather regular basis, like once or twice a week. He / She has been sending me encouraging passages from the bible, greetings to have nice day, etc. for the past year or so, without any imdication of who he / she is. I have kept some messages, deleted some. I have replied some of the messages, but fallen short of calling that number. I have yet to find out who this person is. Whoever you are, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart...Perhaps someday, I will know who you are...

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

For some unknown reason, this video puts a silly smile on my face, and my spirits are lifted watching this silly guy dancing from country to country. I could watch it over and over again. Check out his webby at www.wherethehellismatt.com for a greater insight on this funny fellow.

BTW, singapore is being featured as well. Its into 3 minute plus of the video.

Hope it brings you just as much joy

Ingenious Ways to Save time and Needle Prinks

Got myself scanned. The day went about in an uneventful manner. As usual, Mike accompanied me, and waited together with me while i waited for my turn at each station.

My first stop at 0930 hrs was the Cancer Centre for Blood Test to check on the Kidney and Liver function. Learned from prior experience, that if you ask, the nurse can help you set the plug as well. So that saves you 2 (or even more if you have tiny veins like mine) needle prinks for the Bone scan and CT. And from countless horrific experience in hospitals, the nurses at the Cancer Centre are the Best-est obscure vein finders (the doctors are the worst cos' they out of practice) **Pats myself on back** So proud of myself to think about that.

Second Stop at 1015hrs: Bone Scan. Got myself jabbed with the radioactive isotope. Proceed to have brunch, cos' have to start fasting soon after for CT scan. After brunch, proceed to the radio imaging centre, to collect the horrific contrast drink, which i need to down, so that they are able to see my insides.

So i save some more time, downing the contrast, while waiting for my turn for the bone scan, while reading pretty current magazines.

Finally, they called for me to go in for the bone scan at 1.00 pm. Took extra long time to finish the scan. Hmmmm... they took "close ups" for my torso area, and even my feet. Radiographer said that they see spots there. Dunno what to say...and think

Anyway, last stop was for CT scan. Nothing eventful... probably cos' am totally zapped of my energy by then.

Went home, and slept early. Sleep provides relief... both from worry and the hustle and bustle of the day's event. Results Out next Monday

Gonna Have my Insides checked...

Yup, the much awaited scan day is just a couple of hours away.

Gonna have my liver and kidney function check
Gonna have Bone scan done
Gonna have CT scan for the abdominal area
Gonna be pricked and poked, and injected with radioactive stuff.

Feeling pretty calm about it.

Other than that, nothing much to blog about...

Five Year Mark...Yay?

As of sometime in mid-July, it will be the 5th year of my cancer diagnosis. I had my surgery on the 04 August 2003. Its probably around this time that I was disgnosed with the cancer. I remembered I was running around like a headless chicken making arrangement for the surgery, making arrangement for nic to be taken care of while i was away in the hospital, handling the paperwork with HR. All these while trying to grasp with the painful reality of the news.

Anyway, doesn't this revelation puts me statistically in the optimistic group of women who are still alive five years later? I always kind of thought the statistic referred to women who were alive five years later without having recurred, but now I'm not so sure that's what they mean.

Perhaps, even in my current state, it IS still considered a victory? Yay....

Despite the aches and pains on my spine and pelvis, I am happy to still be here sucking air, even though I had been hoping for more...

Inspirational Speech by Dr. Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture

This is such an inspiration lecture by Dr Randy Pausch who is diagnosed with end staged Pancreatic Cancer, and has been given 6 mths to live. He is a lecturer by profession, and gave the "The Last Lecture" to rave reviews. Here is a snippet which was shown on Oprah show. He is really candid, and funny, and there are just so many truths in it. Hope you enjoy it

Reformed

I have always loved shopping, and i enjoy buying anything that catches my eye, be it home furnishings, clothings, bags and shoes. Lately, I seemed to have reformed. I don't seem to be very interested in buying anything. I used to have so many wants. I actually have a checklist of stuff that I want to have. Looking at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I am not too sure which stage I am in right now.

I don't fit into most clothes, so I am not interested in looking most of the time. Being a stay at home mum, theres not much of a need to really dress up. and as such, I am usually in my tanks, jeans and capris most of the time.

Bags - I used to be unable to get enough of them, but since I got my LV Neverfull, I seem to have lost the passion to chase after the next IT bag. Shoes - another big issue. I love shoes. I love heels, and used to be able to walk many miles in my 3 inch heels. Not anymore. And i am not particularly thrilled to wear flatties. sigh...I guess I lost the sense of empowerment those additional 3 inches gave me. I have been wearing my birkis and Clarks pumps for the longest time. I am looking for new footwear, but haven't been really proactive in looking for it.

And I haven't wore make up for the longest time. I really really do need to snap out of it.

Despite all these, I have been having this urge to buy this



Yes, a blankie. It simply look so soft and inviting, I just want to have one of these over my head. And I could stay inside there, and not have a care in the world

Hmmm.......does this reflect anything about my current state of mind? i need a security blanket

Tidying Up

Its like 3 am right now... Slept early yesterday, but somehow work up, and just couldn't get back to sleep again. while tossing and and turning in bed, many random thoughts just fill my head.

Somehow, I started thinking about things I need to prepare in the event that things takes a turn for the worse. Not sure why I am having these thoughs, but it could be the upcoming scans on the 14 july 08.

I have been a member of a forum board for young women survivor of cancer. Though I haven't been much of a contributor, though more of a lurker, the board has been my great source of information and inspiration. Its a US based site, and there are many women on the board who are just like me. Diagnosed at a young age, some as young as in the early twenties. Some are mommies to young children, but all of us have the same affliction. Some of these women has passed on. I had read their posts, some with their desperate pleas for more information, some with a resigned tone, some just completely stop posting on the board after some time, and we know why. Through these posts, I know that when the end is near, in most cases it just comes fast and furious. For some of them, they are gone in like 6 mths after IT hits the vital organ like the lungs and liver. And because of that, I am scared....

I am generally feeling well at this point in time, albeit the aches on my back. I have been procrastinating on tidying up some matters like putting my will in order, and some other affairs. I actually penned a love letter for Mike some time back, which was meant for him, after I passed on, but he found it, read it, and was crying his eyes out. Silly me, I forgot to save the letter up with a password. I haven't written another letter since.

I have read of some other women, who did voice recordings and videos, and wrote letters for their kids. I am thinking of the latter. I would probably write to Nic about things I would probably want to tell her at certain point in her life. But I can imagine her getting these letters and going...urhg...Not another one of those nagging from the grave...hahahaha... Oh dear i hope she doesn't think of it this way.

But I guess, most troubling for me will be my parents. I am an only child, no siblings, and if they are to outlive me, I am not sure how things will turn out. I love my parents dearly, and it must be pretty tough on them. I hope Mike will be able to look out for them if I am to leave this mortal world in an untimely fashion...sigh...

Some other things i would like to do while i am able:
I would like to travel. Places I would like to visit are many, but resources limited. Some of them are
1) Holland (to see beautiful tulips)
2) Germany
3) Spain
4) Greece
5) Switzerland (to see snow capped moutains)
6) New York (to visit Felicia & Jef)
7) Canada (I want to see the Niagara Falls)
8) US (for some outlet shopping, but I haven't much of a shopping person lately)
9) Perth (to visit Dawn and Louis in their new home)

I would like to look beautiful again.... i have been putting on so much weight. I am like a totally different person now. i have lost so much self esteem and confidence since... Anyway, I am trying to motivate myself to work harder at losing my excess baggage.

So far the list is just that. Will add them as we go along

Oh..And the drama between Xiaxue and Dawn Yang...total waste of blogspace an d time! Get a life, girls!

Banned from Disneyland

Thought this is really funny! What were they thinking!

Wishing ... Hoping...

When the docs first started me on the oral drug tamoxifen in 2004 for my cancer, I took it in stride. I knew I had to go on the drug, and hope for the best that it doesn't come back again. The docs said 5 years, you only need to take the drugs for 5 years, and this will increase your chance of survival by another 50%. Well, I Will try all means to survive, and exhaust all means of medication and treatment, just so that I can live. At that point in time, I could see myself 5 years later, living well, and more importantly, we wanted to resume some normalcy in our lives, we wanted to try for another baby. I was focused, and determined as I felt I had a "mission to procreate".


It would have been 5 years of drug taking this year. Alas, that wasn't meant to be as IT came back again last year, and that dashed all hopes of ever conceiving again, and my dream of having another child. I had to put my dreams aside, and again focus on getting well again. I am now on Zoladex which suppresses the ovaries from producing oestrogen. I am technically in menopause right now....and I will never have another child.

I have sort of faced up to the fact, but would sometimes catch myself gazing at babies and toddlers, and smiling to myself. I hope their mummies don't think i am psychotic ...haha... Recently two of my best friends got pregnant. I am definitely happy for them, and couldn't wait for their births.


Anyway, if I can't have a baby, I want one of these ...



These are available on Ebay. These are called "Reborn Dolls" These are not toys, but collector items, and to me a fine work of art. They look so life like, and so pretty. I wouldn't mind having one of these, though it will never be the same as having a real baby in your arms. I think some may think its a little freakish cos' the doll is so life-like .... (like a relative, she kept saying that the doll we gave her daughter two christmases ago was so life-like, its scary, her daughter can't sleep with the doll in her bedroom, blah blah...hello, its a christmas present, just say thank you and shut up!)

Varying Degree of Suite-ness

13 June to 15 June 2008

3DN Tioman
Berjaya Tioman Suites

Back from our short getaway trip to Tioman, and more exhausted than ever!

2 months back, we balloted for a 2 bedroom suite at Berjaya, and won the ballot. It was a fantastic deal considering its SG$25.00 per room, per night. So for accommodation in a Junior Suite room for 3D2N, we pay SG$100.00!! We were so thrilled and excited that we managed to snag this deal, like win lucky draw!!

I prowled the web for pics, but wasn't very successful. So we had a vision...In our mind, we had this image of our beautiful seaview Junior Suite Room in Tioman..


We just couldn't wait to get there! Anyway, it was the beginning of a not that fantastic trip. For a start, we realise that there is no longer a direct ferry to Tioman. Nope, we have the option to either fly there or to take a bus to Mersing, and than a ferry to Tioman. We chose the latter as we didn't like the look of the plane.



Bus ride to Mersing took 3.30 hours. And afterwhich, ferry ride to Tioman took another 3 hours. It could probably take a lesser amount of time to reach Tioman, but the way the rides are run, they try to fill the ferry to the maximum capacity before leaving. So ferry ride was crappy and bumpy. We slept for most part of the journey with dripping air-con, and shoulder to shoulder to seating arrangement. It was a good thing the kids were ok, and none of them threw up.

Anyway, when we finally reach our hotel, and got to see our "junior suite" it was a total let-down, anti-climax. Its smaller than a 3room HDB flat with ceremic flooring. Bedrooms are tiny with ONE common bathroom. Retro Furnitures like from the 1980s...gulp... guess it hasn't been changed since then.

I definitely wouldn't pay RM$850 per room night...what were they thinking????

Well, saving grace...we enjoyed our day trip. We got to snorkel and swim with the fishes. The kids enjoyed feeding the fishes with bread which we bought from the bakery. wah...the fish diet damn high in carbo

Verdict for the trip: Think i rather stay home and nuah

Its Gone!

Yes! just as it mysteriously appeared, it has quietly disappeared.
Not sure if our frantic springcleaning has rid it of its offsprings. Anyway, we are resuming some normalcy in our home. Quiet is good.

Wonder why God created mosquitos? Whats its function, and what good does it serve?

hmm...ponder...

Fighting the Hidden Enemy

Yes! We are on a rampage!
We will be vigilant...We will show no mercy...We will kill with one big SMACK!
Yes, we have been bitten by the bug...the silent blood sucking mosquito(s) that has been an invited guest(s) in our safe haven.

Since our return from our short vacation, we have been stung countless times by this mosquito that has invaded our home.Its everwhere, in the living room, the study, our dining room. aghhhh...it seems we are not safe, even in our own home. We are sporting battle wounds of a different kind...we have mozzie bites of different sizes on our legs and arms.

We have heeded the government's call to check on crevices with possibilities of being breeding ground for the mozzies, we have empty our flower pots, to the extent that we do not have living plants in our homes.

Aghhh!!!! Wait till i smack it!

Rejuvenation of the Mind and Soul

Indra Maya
01-03 June 2008

We are back from our short vacation at the Indra Maya on Bintan Island. A much needed break, where we were able to bond as a family, and enjoy the luxury of 2 nights stay in a bungalow perched on a hilltop, overlooking the sea. We had the opportunity to feel the seabreeze in our face, and bask in the morning sun while we enjoy our own private pool.

The villa we were staying



Doorway to luxury. The other side of the villa overlooks the sea.
Breathtaking view of the sea, with trees providing shade from the afternoon sun.

The swimming pool within our villa, with trees providing some privacy from peering human eyes, but not from peeping squirrels and iguanas

Bikini babe Nic taking a dip.

We were so close to nature, that we had the chance to enjoy the silence of the night while listening to the chriping of the crickets. It was so nice being away from the traffic noise and distraction of modern technology. We had squirrels so close to our doorsteps, and even an iguana visiting our backyard. Time is such a luxury on our holiday, where we even had the chance to watch the stars, and enjoy the wonders of God's creation. And with no distraction from the PC and internet, I had every opportunity to bask in this luxury.

Look what we found in our backyard!!!!

This is my 3 year old nephew Ryan who was part of our entourage. He brought us so much joy during our trip. He helped us see one of God's wonderous creations, when he burst into the villa one night, squealling with such great delight and excitment at the sparkling stars in the night sky. He was so in awe with the beauty of the twinkling stars in the velvet black sky, that we too were drawn to sit down, and looking up into the sky, enjoy the spectacle.

Such is the luxury of time, and the appreciation of little things through the eyes of a 3 year old

Falling with Grace

Today, Nicole started her first rollerblading lesson. Armed with her new sets of wheels, her protective gear, and a whole lot of attitude, she started her lesson proper at 8.00 pm at the basketball court located just across the road. She picked up some tricks quite quickly, and could now pick herself up when she falls...on her own, and a little bit of blading. Not too bad for just 1 hour's worth of effort. She has also made a new friend at her class, an 8 year old girl Renee, who could do quite a bit of magic with her wheels. Renee wasn't there for lessons, but was simply there, cos' she loves hanging out with the older children there. She gave nic some sort of motivation to work harder at learning the new skills, and some hand-holding as well.

We decided that we will sign her up for the class, as we would like to build up her can-do attitude. Nic does lacks some confidence in some areas, and could be painfully shy when it comes to socialising. We figured that rollerblading would build up some confidencce in her, and would be a good form of exercise for her too.

Looking at the kids wheezing by, Mike and myself were pretty tempted to pick up the sport. Given our age, guess it may be a bit of a problem, as we are at the age where we are "afraid to fall". These kids have no qualms landing on their butt, on their face. We could never be able to do that. We would probably "break a leg"

New Arrivals at Little Gems

Yes, it has been a busy weekend. With the new stocks arriving in batches, there's lots to be done sorting out the sizes, and designs. i have put up a couple of items on my web for sale. There's gonna be more stocks arriving this week, hopefully before i go for my short vacation in June. Have fun checking them out :)

New Age Paper Dolls

This is so deja vu. Remember how we used to play with paper dolls when we were little girls...I sure did. i remembered i would spend countless hours tracing out the outline of the paper dolls, and created new dresses for the dolls. ah.... the simple pleasures in life, which I am not too sure if Nicole will ever enjoy

Anyway, these Daisy Girls dolls comes close to it. There's like over

40 magnetic wooden clothing pieces to create a variety of colorful and fun ballet outfits for the 2 Daisy Girl ballerinas. The set comes in a convenient carrying case with colorful feather trim. Includes 2 magnetic wooden dolls, 42 magnetic clothing pieces, and vinyl carrying bag with feather trim.

All these for USD19.99. It was 10 cents for the paper cut out version which w could get from our regular mama store. Than again, those dolls weren't very lasting, weren't they?

Smencils! Smelly Pencils! Made From Recycled Newspaper!

Smencils! Smelly Pencils! Made From Recycled Newspaper!

Yes they're super-fun smelling pencils, but they're super green! These pencils are not made from wood - they're made from 100% recycled newspaper. Smencils sharpen the same as all other wood pencils and they smell way better. Sniff up a set of 10 Smencils in: Orange, Cherry, Bubble Gum, Peppermint, Fruit Punch, Watermelon, Grape, Pineapple, Root Beer, and Cinnamon. (You can even see the bits of newspaper as you sharpen them!)

Well, the price isn't exactly very friendly to the pockets. At USD$11.50, that's so much more than you are paying for for regular colour pencils. The dilemma: would you pay more for something that's eco-friendly, or pay for something that is a lot lesser but may not be that environmentally friendly?

Go Eco-friendly in Style

Stumbled upon these bags while shopping at Takashimaya. The Envirosax - its a range of lightweight, waterproof, reusable and affordable environmentally friendly bags that is also available online. There are so many colours and prints available, and can be folded up really small, you could dumped it in your handbag.

Great for a fashion fix and doing your part to be eco-friendly! Available at USD$9.00 per fix.

Little Gems is Having a SALE

If you guys haven't yet figured out, Little Gems is currently having a storewide sale

Yup! We are expecting some new inventory coming our in the coming weeks! So gonna make room for them :) So nows a good time to stock up on these great bargains, coming your way, at an additional 20% off. Hurry, hurry, sale ends on the 31st May...cos' we are off for a short vacation.

With or Without You - Sungha Jung

Such amazing talent. Brought tears to my eyes listening to him play. And he is just 11. Sigh....

A Little about Little Gems

I thought I will do a little of Little Gems. My name is Gloria. I am a work at home mama, and a proud mummy to my not so little baby girl Nicole, who is turning 7 this year.

I have been retailing baby and children wear since 2003, first on Yahoo auctions, and than Ebay, and now I have my own webstore. The virtual stores are borne from my love of children and infant clothings, and of course, a love for a good bargain hunt. What started out as "moonlighting", eventually became a full time business, when I decided to give up a lucrative career to spend more time with Nicole.

I would say 2007 is a turning point in my life, when hit with a relapse, I decided I need to put my life in order, and my priorities in place. Little Gems allows me to work at home, and to play a more active role in my daughter's young life.

Because of the hugh amount of competition we face in our business, we are always striving to look for good deals, not only locally, but also beyond our shores. In the coming months, we are looking to introduce hair accessories and stationery in our stores. We are also anticipating more tie ups with other work at home mommas located overseas, which means you will be seeing unique handmade items in our store as well.

Thank you so much for checking us up and for your business. We are thankful for this opportunity and for the success Little Gems has brought us! We promise you a lot more new bargains in the coming months. So do check back often :)

xoxo
Gloria aka Mama Gem

Freaked

Went for scans yesterday. Exhausting day started at 930 am at the Cancer Centre being the first stop. The one-prick wonder nurse (my fav) took 2 vials of blood from me. i got her to set the plug as well, so that i do not need to be pricked again by some inexperienced nurses.

i am just so thankful for the nurses at the Cancer Centre, who has such amazing skills, especially when it comes to looking for almost non-existent veins. i didn't think much of nursing as a career of choice, but having gone through what i am going through, i have certain level of respect for them. To be a nurse in the cancer centre, I applaud them for their compassion, patience, and strength of character to be able to treat a patient, who may not be able to make it through for the next round of treatment. I do wonder what sort of emotions go through their mind when they hear that a patient they have been treating for x number of years has passed on. And here i digress again

Anyway, next stop was Nuclear Medicine, where i was to have my bone scans done. They injected me with some substance, and while waiting for the dye to take effect, i had my mammogram done. Something i hate doing. Doing the mammogram often put me to tears. Not only was it really painful, but often than not, it often brought back so much painful memories. i had to do the mammogram twice. Not sure why, but the nurses claim that they want to have clearer scans. Sigh...thats what they told me when i was first diagnosed. ?Didn't the final results come back positive. I was just so overwhelmed with emotions when they told me that i need to do it the second time round.

Bone scans seems to take an extra long time to complete as well. i have been having some aches and pains which i am attributing to the new drugs i am taking. One of the side effects listed was bone pain. i' often feel extreme sadness when i need to do these scans. I shed quiet tears when i was lying on these large forboding machines which is gonna determine my fate. During these moments, I often wondered why i need to go through what i am going through

The CT scan was sort of uneventful, in a way, thankfully. It was a quickie compared to the previous two tests. However, what greeted me at the waiting area was a bald little girl sleeping on a trolley bed, waiting to be scanned, her anxious parents waiting by her side. She is not much older than Nic. I remebered in 2003, when I was waiting for the results of my scans, before my actual diagnosis, Nic, not even 2 years of age, was admitted to the hospital as she had a burning fever that just wouldn't go away for a whole week. She was admitted for observation, for suspected Kawasaki disease, which could be deadly. I remembered being by her bedside, very afraid, and praying: Lord, let it be me. i can take the suffering better than her. I am just so grateful the fever went away, Nic recovered, and was discharged shortly after.

So here i am waiting anxiously for the phone call, which i prayed will not come. Its pretty irritating how they tell you that if you are ok, they will not call you, and that they will only call you if they need to examine you further. Anyway, I have an appointment with my oncologist next monday. Note to self: Need to ask her about doing a CEA

Scans

Due for my check up again tomorrow. Has it been 3 months yet? Time just flew by so quickly

• Gonna subject myself to be pricked so that they could extract blood from my veins just so that they can be sure that my kidneys and liver are functioning well.
• Gonna have radioactive liquid that looks like mercury pumped into my veins for the bone scans.
• Gonna drown myself with some yellow yucky drink just so that they can see my insides
• Gonna have my breast squashed by some huge merciless machine, just to be extra sure that the cancer hasn't found ite way there

Gonna be a long tiring day. Send me good vibes, please

Warm Fuzzy Feeling

While having dinner yesterday, Nic asked how I am feeling. I have been nursing a cough the past few days. I told her i am feeling a better, why? She replied that she knows why. She had told her Sunday School teacher about it, and they have prayed for me to get better. God hear the prayers of little children :)

Malacca / Kuala Lumpur Escapade

We are just back from our short vacation to Malaysia. It was a short trip, but a nice refreshing one. We decided to make a road trip to Malaysia, after failing to get our hands on air tickets to Hong Kong, which is sort of a blessing in disguise. Imagine our surprise when we came back from our trip, and we hear news about the flu like virus doing its round in Hong Kong *gulp*

We departed on the 09 March. We decided to beat the crowd, and start our journey really early at 7.00 am. We breezed through Customs and Immigration, and started on a 2 hour drive to Malacca. The journey was uneventful, almost a straight road. We reached Malacca at around 11 am. Its been almost 20 years since I last visited the town. The little town is quaint, and has retained many of its old world charm. There were many small shops selling antiques, like records, peranankan tiles, iron.

Anyway, we made our first stop, we stop by Formosa Restaurant, a coffee shop like eatery for chicken rice. Check out the Rice balls! Look like fishballs. We had a lot more food, but was too hungry to take any more shots.

Anyway, we check into our hotel at Equatorial right after lunch. Nice clean hotel, that fit our needs. We didn't do much there, other than shopping at the large megamalls there.

We also check out this newly opened spa outlet near the hotel " Scent and Senses". Fantastic prices!!! The kids enjoyed the swimming pool, and the adults, we had our fun too.

Ramblings

Guess I have to maintain this blog on a more regular basis.

It was my wedding anniversary yesterday. I just can't imagine that the years has just flew by us so very quickly. But than again those 8 years has been filled with so much joy, and so much sorrow as well. Those years are precious to me, and I prayed really hard that I will have many more years of wedded bliss to enjoy. Through these years, i have learned to live with another individual with a totally different kind of family background, upbringing and lifestyle needs. He is a child of the 60s, and me of the 70s. Not too sure how we ended up together but I guess fate and destiny played their part.

I remembered my wedding vows said a good 8 years ago, but only really felt the significance during the last 5 years.

" To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part"

We made a "deal" with each other when we first got married. We promised each other 40 years together. Sometimes, i just feel so sad that I am shortchanging him now that I am stricken with this damn sickness.

There is just no certainty. Even if i am gonna die from this disease, i wish it would just hit me, and not linger. Than again, I am always praying that I will have a couple more years, just so I can be there for Nic. I am full of contradictions...I read somewhere that cancer allows you the chance to say your goodbyes. Well, hopefully it continues to linger on and on till i am 50 something. i guess thats when i will be ready to say goodbye.