Closure

The day of reckoning finally came. Did my CT and bone scans on the 02 Jan, and today is result day. As usual, i am nervous as hell. Thankfully, my condition remains the same, no new lesions. The previous lesions in the spine and pelvis have shown some improvement, yeah!

Got my jabs done today as well. My tiny veins haven't been in the "best condition". I had to be pricked 6 times by 3 different nurses, before they got lucky on the 7th attempt. I couldn't keep my composure, and started tearing at their 4th attempt. I felt bad for the nurses just as they felt bad not being able to set the drip. I hope this will not be a monthly affair :(

Anyway, got back from the hospital, and decided that I should do some packing. There's this stack of maternity clothes which i had when I was pregnant with Nic, sitting nicely folded on the top shelf of the wardrobe for the past 7 years. I could be quite a hoarder. I kept the nice pieces of clothing with the hope that I could use them again when Nic turns 2. It didn't happen, cos' I had to deal with the cancer problem before Nic even turn 2.

The stack of clothes remained in the wardrobe, as i looked forward to the 5 year mark when I could get off Tamoxifen and carry on with my original plan of procreating. It didn't happen, cos' the relapse happened. And now that I am in a medically induced menopausal state, the idea is now totally out of the window.

The clothes are packed and ready to be given away / disposed. I would like to give them away to a charity that helps unwed mothers if possible. Let me know if you know of any such charity.

In my wardrobe, there are some cute tiny size 10 and size 12 clothes which used to fit me when I was still slim. Perhaps someday, i will face up to the fact that I will never be like that anymore. Yes, I am still in denial!