Kampate!

You know how sometimes I get so caught up with the hustle and bustle of daily life that I do forget that I have health issues. I have been well, thank you very much, and am enjoying my life, mundane as it may be. Well, tomorrow, i will be reminded yet again why i have so much to be thankful for.

I am due for my half-yearly scans tomorrow. Yes, I will arrive at the hospital early in the morning to have my blood drawn, radioactive isotope injected into me, and bladder filled up with some strange tasting liquid disguised as orange juice which will light up any lurking cancer cells in my abdomen.

Plug all set, Ready for the long day

LooK, i am Radioactive! Neon bracelet to warn people to stay away!

Outdated magazine that kept me entertained

The yucky drink that they made me drink. Bad aftertaste!

Despite having done these scans countless times, it just doesn't get any easier each time. I still get apprehensive when nurses couldn't find my veins to draw copious amount of blood for testing. I still close my eyes each time they pierced the needles through my skin. And lying there on the cold steel bed with the scanner machine just inches away from my face, i feel clastraphobic, and my heart beats a little faster each time, and i just want to scream, "get me out of here!". When more angles are required for certain region of my body, i get worried, despite the nurses reassuring me that they just want a better look. A better look at what? Did you see something that is not suppose to be there? At the end of the scans, i avoid looking at the nurses' eyes. While thay are cold and mechanical most of the time, I fear looking into their eyes and seeing the look of pity at having found something that will cripple my chances of surviving another month, another year.

Tomorrow will be a day that will serve as a reminder on the fragility of my life, and the many aspects of my life i should be thankful for.

ok, going to bed now. Its going to be a long long day tomorrow, and I am doing it alone ... should be ok. Been there, done that! Kampate!