Ramblings

Guess I have to maintain this blog on a more regular basis.

It was my wedding anniversary yesterday. I just can't imagine that the years has just flew by us so very quickly. But than again those 8 years has been filled with so much joy, and so much sorrow as well. Those years are precious to me, and I prayed really hard that I will have many more years of wedded bliss to enjoy. Through these years, i have learned to live with another individual with a totally different kind of family background, upbringing and lifestyle needs. He is a child of the 60s, and me of the 70s. Not too sure how we ended up together but I guess fate and destiny played their part.

I remembered my wedding vows said a good 8 years ago, but only really felt the significance during the last 5 years.

" To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part"

We made a "deal" with each other when we first got married. We promised each other 40 years together. Sometimes, i just feel so sad that I am shortchanging him now that I am stricken with this damn sickness.

There is just no certainty. Even if i am gonna die from this disease, i wish it would just hit me, and not linger. Than again, I am always praying that I will have a couple more years, just so I can be there for Nic. I am full of contradictions...I read somewhere that cancer allows you the chance to say your goodbyes. Well, hopefully it continues to linger on and on till i am 50 something. i guess thats when i will be ready to say goodbye.