Expectations vs Reality

The annual Teacher's Parents Meeting is just round the corner, and I am so dreading to be there to meet her teacher and to pick up Nic's report card. Nic haven't been performing too well in the school and I am anticipating that there's going to be quite a number of complaints from the teachers. Oh well, guess I have to face up to it.

When I was first diagnosed, Nic wasn't even 2 years old then. Being confronted with my own mortality, I thought I just wanted Nic to have a childhood, to have fun growing up, and be as carefree as possible. I do not know whats in store for her in the future, but I guess the least I could do is let her have a happy childhood when I am still around. Who knows how long that will be. Well, Nic spent much of her early years watching lots of Barney, Sesame Street, Hi-5, on TV, playing "masak masak" with Grandma, playing with the kids next door, going to the library...not a really structured sort of routine, but pretty carefree. We travelled often, sometimes taking her out of school during term time, while we take short trips. I wasn't the flashcard flashing kind of mama, but i tried to cultivate her interest in books with little success.

As Nic enters into formal school, my expectations for her were simple. Just do your homework when you need to, and pass all the subjects. I guess school life couldn't be so carefree anymore. She had to adopt a more structured routine, and had to adapt to a pretty different kind of lifestyle, something which she is still trying to get used to. She has to sit for exams, she has homework to do, spellings and dictation to learn, and her performance will be graded.

Nic thrives on compliments, praises and positive reinforcement. I think all kids do. She did well in her chinese language last year as she endeared herself to this sweet young chinese teacher. Its a different case this year, she hasn't been doing her chinese homework, and seems to dislike the subject. the teacher seems to have issues with her as I see the remarks she leaves in Nic's homework. I guess thats the variable element that is beyond our control in nurturing her love for a particular subject.

The kids in Nic's school will be streamed this year, where the kids with the top grades will be in the first 3 classes, while the kids with lower grades will be in the bottom 3 classes. While I am not agreeable with the streaming process, its the reality that the strong will thrive, while the weak will be ousted in due course. Its no longer enough to just pass your exams, you need to excel.

With school being so competitive, I do wonder if I had been slack during the formative years of her young life. Am I paying the price now?

And the Stressed Out Mama ponders...